My 39-year-old and 29-year-old selves…
If I could sit across from my younger selves – driven, hopeful, overthinking – I’d offer love and honesty.
Because leadership doesn’t come with a manual. And no degree, mentor, or title can prepare you for the inner work it takes to lead well, live well, and stay true to yourself.
Here are 12 hard-earned truths – six for each decade – I’d offer my younger self:
To my 29-year-old self
– ambitious, eager, still trying to “fit in”:
- Stop asking for permission to lead. You belong at the table – even if no one says it. Own your space with presence and intention.
- You don’t have to lead like a man to be effective. Your empathy, intuition, and emotional intelligence are leadership tools. Don’t tone them down – use them.
- Self-awareness is your edge. Know your triggers. Face the fears you outrun. The more conscious you become, the more grounded you’ll be.
- Perfection is a trap. You’re not here to impress – you’re here to grow. Give yourself permission to get it wrong and keep going.
- Not everyone will like you—and that’s okay. Respect is more important than approval. Authenticity over people-pleasing, every time.
- You are enough – even when you’re learning. Your qualifications matter, but they aren’t the measure of your worth. You don’t need more degrees to take up space. You already belong.
To my 39-year-old self
– established, exhausted, quietly craving more:
- Burnout is not a badge of honor. Working through the weekend doesn’t prove loyalty – it signals misalignment. Rest is leadership.
- Reinvention isn’t failure – it’s growth. If it no longer fits, you’ve outgrown it. Reinvent boldly. You don’t owe anyone the old version of you.
- Stop shrinking to make others comfortable. You are not “too much.” You’re just in the wrong room. Step out of smallness.
- Empathy is a business advantage. Lead with heart. People remember how you made them feel, not your résumé.
- The real joy is in helping others rise. Purpose isn’t found in performance – it’s found in service. Uplift someone, and you’ll feel it in your bones.
- If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive. No salary, title, or accolade is worth your mental health. Protect your energy like your future depends on it – because it does.
At 49, I’ve stopped striving to prove and started choosing to live and lead with intention. I’ve learned that the most sustainable success isn’t just external. It’s internal clarity, conscious leadership, and the decision to live in alignment with your values – every day.
Because in the end:
Power rooted in purpose.
Joy rooted in service.
Leadership rooted in truth.
PS: I am keen to hear your thoughts on this?
Linda Reddy